The Source

I have a lot of disjointed feelings and thoughts right now about the NFL season in general.  I tried coming up with some sort of eloquent way to make one flow into the next and create a cohesive article, but I think that this is one of those “get it off your chest” kind of scenarios.  So, instead of a masterfully articulated bit of literature, I’m just going to throw some of my thoughts out there.

Baltimore Ravens.  Quit crying!  Yeah, OK, the roughing the quarterback call on Suggs was pretty bad.  But, Ray Ray, I don’t care if you meant to do it or not, you tripped the quarterback.  It’s a penalty.  Not intentional.  Still a penalty.  And those calls cost you the game??  No, four interceptions from your quarterback cost you the game.  Beyond all of that, you guys have wanted to be “the bad boys” for over a decade now.  You claim to thrive on it.  It’s your identity.  Well, realize that your identity affects the perception of people around you, including referees.

New York Jets.  You haven’t done anything yet!  My god, I didn’t think I could dislike an entire team more than Baltimore.  Even the Patriots at the height of their cheating scandal, they were still second-place to Baltimore.  However, the New York Jets are really pushing for the number one spot.  At least Baltimore are some bad guys I can respect.  Their defense won them the Super Bowl about a decade ago.  They talk a lot, then they come out and hit you in the mouth.  The New York Jets literally back into the playoffs last season.  Their coach believed that they had already been eliminated, but they faced two teams in the last two weeks, both of which had already locked in their playoff position at the time they were playing the Jets.  Those teams sat all of their starters in the second half, New York winds up winning both games in the second half and then they don’t even make it into the Super Bowl, and somehow they are billed as the next big thing?  My wish list for the NFL this season? 1.  Pittsburgh Steelers win the Super Bowl.  2.  The New York Jets collapse in fantastic fashion (drink up Braylon)

Philadelphia Eagles.  I’m beginning to believe Andy Reid is suffering from some form of brain damage.  First, he is hands down the worst coach at managing the game clock.  I don’t even think there’s a second-place in this because Andy has so perfected the art of absolutely mismanaging his timeouts and time remaining in the game that there is no sense in ranking any other coach.  Then, after remaining loyal to your embattled quarterback for a decade or so, you trade him away because you’re now convinced that the young Kevin Kolb is the future of your team.  Then, after young Kevin plays for approximately one half of football, gets a minor concussion, you decide it’s best to go with the dog murderer as your team leader.  And don’t give me this “everybody deserves a second chance” crap.  It wasn’t like “oops, I accidentally kicked the dog out of anger”.  It was an organized compound designed for animals to kill each other for the enjoyment of humans.  Yeah, this is the guy I want leading my team.  Oh, and did I mention that they traded that quarterback, the one that the coach supported for about a decade, in their division??

People who felt like making an analogy to Ben Roethlisberger after reading my last paragraph.  No, I don’t see any similarities here.  No, I don’t have any problem bashing Michael Vick as a reprehensible human being and still saying I can’t wait for Big Ben to get back and lead my Steelers.  Do I WANT my quarterback roaming through college bars in Georgia during the off-season?  No.  Would I want my child acting the way he has acted off the field?  No.  Do I think there is a huge difference between drinking too much at a college bar and organizing a compound for dogfights?  Yes.  Do I know what happened between Ben and the college girl that night in March?  No.  However, what I do know is, the girl herself was under 21.  It didn’t prevent her from going out and drinking all night by her own choice.  Nothing over the course of the evening prevented her from barhopping place to place, wherever Ben happened to be going.  I also know that only two people know for sure what happened in a tiny bathroom/hallway in that bar that night.  One of them says they were forced, the other one says everything was consensual.  I also have this crazy belief that people, regardless of race, religion or stature in the public eye are innocent until proven guilty.  If Ben had been found guilty, I would be the first guy wanting him off of my team.  He wasn’t found guilty.  In fact, he wasn’t even charged with a crime of any sort.  He can restore his image by not being in the wrong place, with the wrong people at the wrong time anymore.  Michael Vick is in a completely different boat.

OK, I think that’s enough.  I feel that I can now exist happily for at least one more week.  Let’s move onto the AFL power rankings!

1. Bushwood Ballers (1), owner Jeffrey Smith: the temptation here would be to move the Ballers down at least one spot.  Let’s take a look at the reasons why.  Well, they were dead last in points this week.  That’s one reason.  Also, they played the team that I had ranked number two last week, and they lost to them.  Seems pretty clear that they should drop down.  But, that’s not the way this thing works!  They hold onto the number one spot for this week because I still believe their roster might be the most powerful.  Chris Johnson is not going to go up against the Pittsburgh defense every week, they are not going to get zero points out of their kicker every week and I think that the first week is a better example of how they will perform on a regular basis.  Of course, they won’t be here in the number one spot with another bad performance next week.


2. Ar Tarnsmen (3), owner Briant Laslo: a second straight week of solid performances out of my guys.  I managed to take the overall scoring title for the week even though Ryan Matthews was hurt and didn’t play much.  I still think that the overall, long-term prognosis for this team is going to ride on Matthews.


3. La Swashbuclers (2), owner Christy Bohannon: do I have something against this team?  I don’t think so, but you can never be too sure.  They win their game against the number one ranked team and I still moved them down one spot.  Well, it’s mostly based on the fact that there was no indication that Nicks is going to be the break out player that he was in the first week.  I think they still have a very strong lineup, but there are a couple of question marks now.


4. Magnolia Bridges (4), owner Usha Kizhakekara: this team stays in the number four spot instead of moving up this week based on the coaching decisions as much as the lineup.  You set Michael Turner against the Steelers, he gets shut down, you look like genius.  You set Jahvid Best against the Eagles, he goes off, not so much genius looking.  Still, the power in the lineup is there, but they may need to fine-tune the coaching decisions especially with the injury to Turner.


5. Lunar Losers (6), owner Adam Greuling: they lose their second game, but I decided I was right last week and they should have been in the number five spot.  Now, whether or not they have the lineup to move higher still remains to be seen, but I have to believe they are going to get their first victory soon.


6. Mopar’s Marauders (5), owner Larry D’Antonio: they slide down one spot this week based on a number of things.  DeAngelo Williams looks like he might be in for a tough year in Carolina, we will see if the rookie quarterback makes any difference this week.  The Dallas offensive line is still struggling mightily, Romo is looking like Romo in a playoff game every week. Mojo is off to a slow start down in Jacksonville.  And, on top of all of that, the Marauders sat Matthew Forte, who was their leading rusher.  Now, he didn’t get a lot of points, and would not have made a difference in the game, but I think this team will need every point it can get to move up the rankings and be competitive..


7. Farva’s Fury (8), owner Kathleen Farber: they squeaked out a victory while scoring fairly decent points.  Kathleen shows that ability that I mentioned last week by grabbing Brandon Jackson to replace the injured Grant, but I think there’s going to take more moves than snagging a backup running back to make this team truly powerful.


8. Divine Comedy (7), owners Jonathan Richards, Mark Williams: okay, I want an interview!  I love co-owner situations where there might be some controversy.  I need to know, whose decision was it to set McCoy against Detroit?  Can you each share your feelings on what it was like watching him run wild on Sunday, knowing he was on your bench?  And then, to lose your game by just two points!  Trust me, I have been there more than once, you can share with me, I will understand.

A little bit of movement in the power rankings this week as teams start gravitating towards their actual position.  Good luck to everybody in week three!

I’ll bet you were scared, weren’t you?  I’ll bet you were thinking, “where are the power rankings?  Are there going to be any power rankings?!  Why am I even playing this game if there are not any power rankings!?!  Are you trying to make me kill myself by getting me so upset over there not being any power rankings???  I’ll do it!  Give me my power rankings or it will be chaos, anarchy, Armageddon!”

Well, fear not, I would not let our own Mark Williams stand alone against the antichrist!  While he is keeping Armageddon at bay by handling the NFC power rankings, I will be doing the AFC rankings, and together we will lead you all to the promised land!

Well, either that, or you’re in for 17 weeks of mostly arbitrary, personal opinion stated as fact in the most important and glowing terms possible.  Also, there is a good chance that the glowing terms will be used as frequently as possible in an attempt to cover up the fact that we really have no idea what we are talking about more than anybody else and in the end, the only thing that won’t lie do you in fantasy football are the stats.

So, all of that being said, here are your first look at the AFL power rankings

1. Bushwood Ballers (1): well, it’s hard not to rank the overall top scoring team in the league number one.  I really wanted to though.  I tried desperately looking at the lineups to find a way that I could rank them at least number two, because clearly that would make me appear smart as if I had some sort of insight “beyond the numbers”.  But, the truth is, this team is clearly number one, they scored 145 points with only four of those points combined from their kicker and defense.  Now, I don’t expect Foster to put up 41 points every week, but Chris Johnson certainly has the capability to prevent similar numbers.  If you have two running backs who can both put up an explosive performance on any given week, you’re going to be hard to beat.  On top of that, this team had six, that’s SIX, six as in half of a dozen six, players put up double-digit points.


2. La Swashbuclers (2): they may have grabbed the breakout player of the season with Nicks.  If so, that along with Brady will make them competitive all season long.  Throw in the fact that they scored 95 points while many of their players underperformed ( Addai, Rice, Finley) and this team at least has a solid base.


3. Ar Tarnsmen (3): a solid opening performance by my own team, especially considering the immensely disappointing performances of Adrian, Ryan Matthews and my kicker.  Personally, I think this team might ride on whether or not Ryan Matthews turns out to be the real deal this season in San Diego.  If he does, it’s going to give me a great 1-2 punch along with big brother Crybaby Manning.


4. Magnolia Bridges (4): this team claims the number four spot based as much on what I have seen in some early coaching decisions as their lineup.  They were not afraid to said Michael Turner against a historically strong defense against the run in Pittsburgh, and it paid off as both of their other running backs scored more points.  Now sure, they still lost the game, but I think they have three solid running backs, a decent set of wide receivers and if the ancient one can have one more good season up in Minnesota, these guys might be able to beat anybody.


5. Mopar’s Marauders (5): if what we saw out of Matthew Forte is an indication that he is going to get turned into another Marshall Faulk by Mike Martz, then I think what we saw out of this team in the first week might be what we can expect each week.  However, I’m not sold that you’re going to get that kind of performance out of Forte every week.  And I’ve never been a big fan of Tony” big game choker” Romo.  That offensive line is looking miserable and the Dallas offense has looked equally bad in both the preseason end the opening week.  Going to need some more time to see if this team can actually compete.


6. Lunar Losers (6): editing this after I had finished everything, and I’m really thinking that maybe these guys should have been in the number five spot.  Their quarterback is widely viewed as being one of the top three, if not number one overall this season.  Andre Johnson is going to get them points, and I think they might have a little, miniature GoldMine in Charles.  However, I decided best to leave them when they are for this first week, and if they do deserve a high-ranking, then their innate power will rise up and carry them to a high-ranking next week.


7. Divine Comedy (7): I know, these guys only managed 58 points, why are they not in last?  Well, I think a number of their players just underperformed and they are actually a better team than what was shown in the first week. Schaub Is going to wind of getting some points, Randy is in a contract year so he’s going to perform big whether he’s happy or not, I think Branden Marshall is going to be a beast, so overall I think that’s enough to keep them out of last… this week


8. Farva’s Fury (8): OK, I know they have Drew the golden boy as their quarterback, but I think this team is going to need to make a lot of moves to be competitive.  They’ve already lost their main running back in Grant, I don’t think Moreno is going to be overly productive, and their wide receivers appear to be pedestrian at best (even though Hines maybe my all-time favorite wide receiver in actual football).Again, anything can happen over the course of a football season, and Kathy has shown an ability to build a team after the draft.  I think that is what she’s going to need to call upon this season once again.

And there we have everybody.  I might look into throwing in extra insights (read: opinions) from time to time over the course of the season, but for now let’s just wait and see what the second week will bring us!